Watched Tanu Balak’s ‘Cold Case’, and here are the ten vital questions that have troubled me ever since.
Watched Tanu Balak’s ‘Cold Case’, and here are the ten vital questions that have troubled me ever since.
- Why has it come to a point where horror film makers refuse to imagine a plot that doesn’t have a girl kid in it, preferably belonging to a single mother? Why is it that these kids are always the first to befriend the spooky ghost in the attic?
- Why is it that the girl needs to have a mandatory fixation on some odd looking doll that has sparkling eyes with long lashes that seem to scream Wait-Till-I-Scare-the-Bells-and-Bolts out of you? Why is it that there is no end to the camera zooming in on the creepy doll face almost making you expect it to grow horns and sinister teeth any moment?
- While it’s fantastic to think of two parallel narratives that flow along towards the same point, how is it possible for both of them to drive you equally nuts? How is it possible for both of them to sound competitively inane and for you to lose interest in both in no time?
- Why is it that Prithviraj’s ACP Sathyajith looks way too stiff and rigid a cop who seems like he could very well do with some digestive tablets? Why is it that film cops this side of the world are still puffy and walk around like they are Supermen with an extra swag?
- What is it that must have prompted an actor like Aditi Balan to accept ‘Cold Case’ apart from driving viewers to consider a re-watch of ‘Aruvi’? And why is it that the poor soul appears totally lost in at least a couple of scenes?
- Why hasn’t Aathmiya not been given an award of appreciation as yet for having been able to faithfully maintain a babe-lost-in-the-woods expression in all her films till date? Why is it that you feel you are watching ‘Joseph’ again, the moment you see her on screen?
- Pardon me for asking, but why, oh why, the fridge? Granted you have been chopped up by some monster and have spent some time in there, but you are a spirit now for God’s sake, and why is it you inconsolable spirit, that you haven’t found your way out of this nasty, miserable fridge?
- Why does Suchitra Pillai trying her hand at the crystal ball and sporting ridiculous white contacts look like she’s some dame who has gone total bananas? Why is there a man standing beside her looking like he has no clue as to what he has done in his life to deserve all this?
- Did you know that adding a piece of raw papaya to mutton makes the meat cook a lot easier? Did you know that prosthetic teeth are sometimes screwed in? Did you know the meaning of the word Scrying by any chance before you stumbled upon ‘Cold Case’?
- And last, but certainly not the least, should we start hoping that spirits find better abodes in the future? Or are you excited at the prospects of finding them taking refuge in pressure cookers, gas cylinders, closet tanks, microwave ovens, kitchen sinks and washing machines henceforth?
Yawn.
Verdict: Freezer Cold